


Hijinks

by thatwasbrilliant



Category: The X-Files RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwasbrilliant/pseuds/thatwasbrilliant
Summary: Just a fun piece about the neck brace prank from Season 10, told from David's POV. This is pure fiction, based on a real event.





	

I glance back through the rear window. There’s the pole of a light post not too far off, but Gill seems to have it under control. 

I should have known she was going to insist on backing the car up herself. She’s always been headstrong. But we’re talking about parking an SUV here. Hell, even I would probably back the thing onto the curb. 

Another glance back. _Does she realize we’re heading right for the pole?_

“Hey, Gillian…”

The car speeds up. 

Thud.

And we’ve hit the pole.

“Whoops,” I joke as the entire crew stands at the car’s bumper in shock. 

I hear Gill cry out behind the wheel. “I’m so sorry!” Her face is a bright shade of red, hands fiercely clutching the steering wheel. She’s humiliated.

“Hey, you okay?” I say, resisting the urge to take her hand in mine. 

My words seem instill a sense of calm in her, and I watch as she loosens her grip on the wheel. “Yeah. You?”

I nod. 

The crew politely ushers us out of the vehicle and checks how we’re doing. Then, before we know it, the totaled SUV is being loaded up on the back of a tow truck until it disappears out of sight. 

I haven’t said much, mostly because I’m afraid of upsetting her. I know she feels terrible, and I can’t exactly start comforting her at in front of all of these people. So I resort to my other never-fail tactic to cheer her up: Humor.

Our director, James, asks us to take our places for the scene. So what do I do? I walk towards the pole, arms reaching out in front of me as if hard of sight. 

“Just surveying the area,” I quip. 

Gill’s lips curl into a ‘I guess I had that coming’ smile before she shakes her head and turns away. 

............................................................................................................................................................

Hours later we’ve parted ways with a quick goodbye kiss before she heads home for the night. I have a late shoot ahead of me and won’t have a chance to see her again until we both arrive at work again tomorrow morning.

I’ve spent the better half of the day plotting what has to be the most genius prank ever to be pulled on The X Files set. I honestly can’t even remember the last time one of us even attempted to prank the other. There was that one episode where I threw a handful of rice at her. She thought it was maggots. It was brilliant. 

_That was, what? Almost 20 years ago? Jesus. This is long overdue._

I knock on the door of the prop room.

“Hey Bill. I was wondering if you might happen to have a neck brace stored away somewhere?”

A look of concern furrows his brow. “David, if you need a neck brace you should probably head to the hospital to get checked out. Especially with the damage Gillian did to the back of that SUV.”

I can’t help but chuckle. “No, no. I’m fine. It’s for a prank. On Gillian.”

“Ah, that explains it.” I watch as he heads to a corner of the room and starts sifting through a pile. “She’s going to kill you, you know.”

My hand automatically drifts to the back of my neck. “Well I’m hoping she just finds it clever and hysterical.”

Bill turns around to look at me, a small smile creeping up on his face. “Coming from you? I wouldn’t expect any less.”  
..........................................................................................................................................................................................  
I’m in the back of the car on the way to work, neck brace sitting next to me on the seat. We come to a stop and I notice my neck and shoulders tense up. 

_Maybe yesterday’s accident did more damage than I thought. I hope Gill’s okay!_

My first instinct is to text her, but in order for this prank to work, I have to temporarily cut off all communication. Luckily my late night on set meant we never had a chance to talk, and I had gone back to my hotel room to sleep instead of her place. She has no clue what awaits her this morning.

Before I know it we’ve arrived to the set, and I slip the neck brace on before I step out of the car with my bag. She’s probably inside already, but I can’t take the chance.

Although Gillian’s nowhere to be seen, the sight of my “injury” certainly doesn’t go unnoticed by crew members as I make my way to the door. 

_Whoops. Guess I forgot to give everyone a heads up._

I silently mouth the word “prank” to about a dozen people until I step inside the studio and come face to face with a panicked James. 

“David! You’re…I…”

I lower my voice but try not to showcase any emotion on my face. “I’m fine. It’s a prank on Gillian. But please don’t tell her. Any idea where she..”

And before I can finish, I spot out of the corner of my eye a petite redhead charging towards me. I slowly shift my body in her direction and am admittedly surprised at her reaction. Her jaw is dropped, eyes are wide with horror and she’s nearly gasping for breath. 

_Shit. Have I gone too far?_

Her eyes shoot up towards the neck brace while the gasping continues. “David! What the?!” 

_I can’t do this anymore._

“Gill, it’s okay. It’s just a joke.” I unfasten and remove the brace. “See? I’m fine!”

No reaction. She’s frozen in her state of panic.

And then, like a switch has been flicked, she falls to her knees and lets out the biggest laugh I have ever heard leave those beautiful lips. 

She’s literally ROFL. 

_Isn’t that what the kids say these days?_

Now she’s on her back, face flushed and tears streaming down her face as the laughing fit continues.

“Jerk!” she croaks out.

What a sight we must be. A veteran actress laying on the floor giggling nonstop while her long-time costar stands over her, neck brace in hand, grinning like an idiot.

When her laughter finally starts to subside, I offer down a hand and help pull her off the floor until we’re about a foot apart. She attempts to pull herself together, brushing off some of the dust that’s accumulated on her pantsuit. Of course I help.

“You’re lucky that was funny.” Gill looks up at me, her eyes betraying her threatening words. “I was already worried about you when I realized that I had whiplash, and…”

“Whiplash? You okay?!” 

Gill slowly nods.

I can’t fight the smile forming on my lips in anticipation of my next remark. “Want the neck brace?” 

She quickly smirks at me and turns away with a silent chuckle.

_Yup. This is definitely going to be a good day._


End file.
